A private dating journal
Track the silence, not just the texts
A ghosting tracker that catches the pattern, not just the moment.
7-day free trial on Pro. iOS only for now.
Ghosting is not just disappearing forever. The more common version is partial ghosting: he goes quiet for three days, then comes back with a thumbs up reaction. He stops texting at night but still responds to your Instagram stories. He drops off completely for a week and then surfaces with a casual hey. Hard to call out. Easy to keep excusing. Until you see how often it happens.
Why partial ghosting is harder to spot
Full ghosting is brutal but at least it is clear. Partial ghosting (also called soft ghosting or slow fading) is sneakier. Each individual silence has a plausible reason. Work was busy. He fell asleep. He left his phone in the car. The problem is when you stack them up.
From inside it, you keep extending grace. From the data, you see he has gone silent on you eight separate times in six weeks. That is not random. That is a pattern.
How Spilled catches it
Each time he goes quiet for an unexpected stretch, you log an entry and tag it (no response, ghosted, breadcrumbing, depending on what fits). Spilled tracks those tags over time.
Once you cross a threshold of silence events, the frequent silence pattern flag fires. The flag shows you the evidence (number of silence moments, how often, recent trend). It is the same data you have been carrying in your head, but now you can actually see it.
What ghosting often means
Ghosting is rarely about you. It is usually about avoidance. People ghost when they do not want to have a hard conversation, when they have lost interest but not enough to end things cleanly, or when they are juggling other connections and you slipped down the priority list.
Whatever the reason, the data tells you the same thing: someone who consistently goes quiet is showing you who they are. Believing the pattern is the hardest part. Spilled just makes the pattern impossible to miss.
See the silence for what it is.
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Questions, answered
How long of silence counts as ghosting in Spilled?
You decide what counts as a silence worth logging. Spilled does not auto-detect silence. You log an entry when it feels meaningful, tag it with no response or ghosted, and the pattern detector takes it from there.
Is one ghost a pattern?
No. Spilled needs at least three silence events to fire the frequent silence flag. Pattern detection waits for repetition so a single bad week does not look worse than it is.
What if he comes back?
That is exactly what breadcrumbing often looks like, and Spilled flags that separately. The frequent silence pattern plus the breadcrumbing pattern together is one of the clearest signals you can get.