What tags can I use?

Tags are how Spilled turns your entries into patterns. Every entry can carry as many tags as fit. They come in four groups.

Negative signals (his behavior):

• Cancellation: plans cancelled, especially last minute
• Broken promise: said he would do something, did not follow through
• No response: left on read, went silent
• Excuse: vague reason for being unavailable
• Last minute change: changed plans without warning
• Mixed signals: hot then cold in the same interaction
• Disrespect: rude, dismissive, or hurtful
• Financial red flag: asked for money, did not pay his share, money weirdness
• Controlling: limited who you see, commented on what you wear, tracking
• Jealousy: got weird about exes, friends, or social media
• Intense oversharing: shared heavy personal history way too soon
• Passive: waited for you to decide, plan, or initiate everything
• Mental load: you had to remember, remind, or think for him
• Avoided responsibility: deflected blame, did not own a mistake
• Breadcrumbing: likes and one-word texts, but no real plans
• Dishonesty: caught in a lie, or the story did not add up
• Pressured: pushed for more than you were ready for

Positive signals (his behavior):

• Kept promise: said he would do something and did it
• Quality time: a real date or real time together
• Consistent contact: regular check-ins, not sporadic
• Effort: planned something, made an effort
• Vulnerability: shared something real
• Respect: considerate, kind, or thoughtful
• Future talk: plans, trips, or a future together
• Meeting milestone: met friends or family, introduced as girlfriend
• Took initiative: planned or handled something without being asked
• Accountability: owned a mistake and apologized without being pushed
• Honesty: told the truth even when it was uncomfortable
• Supportive: showed up for you during something hard
• Respected a boundary: accepted a no without pushback or sulking

How I felt (your reaction, not his behavior):

• Excited: butterflies, looking forward to seeing him
• Felt safe: relaxed, no guard up, could be yourself
• Felt seen: heard and understood
• Gut feeling: something felt off and you cannot explain why
• Making excuses for him: you caught yourself defending or explaining away his behavior
• Anxious: waiting on texts, overthinking, on edge
• Drained: left the interaction tired, like it cost you energy
• Softening: noticed your guard coming down

Neutral:

• General: just a note, no clear signal either way

Why "how I felt" tags matter: most of Spilled's tags describe what he did. But how you felt afterward is often the earlier signal. Making excuses for him and an unexplainable gut feeling are two of the most reliable early warnings there are, and they are easy to dismiss in the moment. Tagging them lets you see how often they show up.

Do the feeling tags affect the score? Yes, except Softening. Excited, Felt safe, and Felt seen count as positive. Gut feeling, Making excuses, Anxious, and Drained count as negative. Softening is neutral on purpose: it can be a good sign or the start of excusing him, so it is tracked but does not move the score.

Missing a tag? Below the tag chips on any entry there is a "Missing a tag? Suggest one" link. It opens an email to us with a short template. Several of the tags above came directly from user suggestions.